Thursday, December 9, 2010

The Alastair Macaulay Debate cont.

Over at her blog, Tendus Under a Palm Tree, Miami City Ballet dancer Rebecca King has opened a discussion of recent comments made by New York Times dance critic Alastair Macaulay about the weight of two dancers in his review of New York City Ballet's performance of George Balanchine's The Nutcracker.  Likely being the least capable person to adequately discuss the weight issue in ballet didn't stop me from being the first to comment.  My bottom line was if weight adversely affected the performance it is a legitimate issue.  But it seemed the critic was just trying to turn a clever phrase.

As I've mentioned elsewhere in this blog, my connection to ballet is through my nieces and a pas de deux class I take with one of my nieces.  But it didn't take long for me to learn that weight in ballet is a very sensitive topic and particularly with young girls an unkind word can have devastating consequences.  When I jokingly told our teacher that I watch what my niece eats because I'll be lifting it later he shot me a look that it isn't a joking matter.

I do know first hand the horrible problems that come with an eating disorder.  My wife suffered through an eating disorder for over ten years all because her mother told her she looked fat one night when we watched my wife's nephew in a high school basketball championship game.

I met my wife when I coached her soccer team.  She looked very athletic with nice legs and if anything was a little on the thin side.  No one would have ever thought she was fat, except her mother who was rail thin the entire time I knew her.

I didn't hear the comment my mother-in-law made and I only learned about it years later.  My wife, who generally always ate well, stopped eating.  She already suffered from panic attacks at that time and losing weight did not help.  And she had a tendency to self medicate with alcohol for the panic attacks which soon took on new dangers due to the weight loss.

Those of you who don't have any experience dealing with someone with an eating disorder won't know the incredible frustration.  My athletic wife became frail.  It didn't help that she injured her knee and wasn't able to play soccer.  Soon it seemed too risky for her to play.  Yet she thought she looked too heavy.

We probably fought every day over eating.  I would ask what she wanted for dinner and she would say anything was fine but everything I suggested was shot down.  Finally she would say I should know what she wanted to eat and since I didn't she wouldn't eat at all because she lost her appetite since I obviously didn't care about her.

This went on for years.  Her friends started to think that I was abusing her.  They did at least one intervention.  They only saw the weight issue but it was so much more than that, with the alcohol issue and panic issue as well.  But she was able to convince them that she was fine.

Then one night I was awakened as she was having a seizure.  She had gotten the flu and stopped drinking for one day.  And that was enough to cause a seizure because her body had been ravaged due to the weight loss and drinking.  She spent almost a week in the hospital and I hoped we were on the road to recovery but she popped open a beer immediately after we got home.  I think she had at least three more seizures after that.  Probably more that I was unaware of.  She still wouldn't eat much.

So I started making her breakfast in bed every morning.  She would eat a little bit at first and eventually did better and better.  I tried not to argue over dinner which had just played into her hands.  And I was able to get her eating more and more.  Little did I know what was coming around the corner.

My wife was gaining more and more weight.  She had her appetite back.  She weighed more than she ever had before for a few months.  Then about five years ago she started complaining of an ear ache.  We went to urgent care and they said it was just the flu.  A month went by and her ear hurt more and more so we finally went to see a specialist.  And the news was not pretty.  She had cancer and the tumor was causing the pain in her ear.  She started weeks of radiation and chemotherapy. 

There is no way that she would have survived the treatment if she weighed as little as she had.  Her body would not have been able to take it.  She has had four surgeries since then and right now she is in the clear.  And she has been able to keep her weight up.  And she is not letting her panic issues stop her from getting out like they used to.  And she has significantly cut down on her drinking.

So I'm not sure how the eating issues stopped.  I think that her body just let her know that she needed to eat and she was able to hear the message.

These eating issues can have dire consequences, I know that first hand.  I'll be watching Rebecca's blog to see other comments from people that are in the ballet world.

Qatar 2022

I have attended the last five soccer World Cups and my niece has come along for the last two World Cups in Germany and South Africa.  Who knows how things will be in twelve years, but right now I have to wonder whether she would be able to have a nice time in Qatar.  It will be excessively hot for one thing. 

There are certainly a lot of unanswered questions about Qatar.  The World Cup is generally considered a big party with drinking alcohol a major part of the celebrations and sorrows as you follow your team.  I understand there are major restrictions on drinking alcohol in Qatar.  Will those restrictions be eased?

What will fans do when they aren't at a match?  How are women treated?  Do they recognize the state of Israel and if Israel qualifies will they be allowed to play there safely?

I have no doubt that Qatar will be able to build nice stadiums, world class hotels and a highly functional transportation system. 

I just have serious doubts about the entire fan experience.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Mirlitons 2010

My older niece also was the lead in Mirlitons this year.  She was kind of nervous about the public performance because she had been spending so much time rehearsing the Sugar Plum Fairy role that it had been a month since she practiced Mirliton.  The other four girls are from the pas de deux class.  Three of the four are the most regular participants.  When it comes to the lifts the smallest of the girls is my favorite because she is so light.  Lifting her is the only time I think I could have possibly had a future in ballet if I only were thirty years younger, and willing to work a hundred times harder.

I asked my nieces if they were getting a break from class given that they had just done six performances and the response was they got a break when they performed on Thursday and Friday instead of having class.  There is just an incredible amount of dedication on the part of these girls.

I am very proud of my nieces and all of the girls from the pas class.  I like to bring flowers for "my girls" for after the performances and they seem to appreciate that.  The smiles I receive are priceless.

Trepak 2010

My younger niece was one of the Trepak leads this year.  She is in the purple top.  In the past she has usually been a party child or one of the funny mice.  Last year she was also in Chinese.  She was in Flower this year but my video did not turn out from that.

She started ballet when she was 4 or 5, but quit because there was too much goofing off at that age.  She returned to ballet a few years ago and has been doing a lot of catch up.  Apparently she is supposed to have a natural turn out unlike her sister who has problems with her turn out.   She is fourteen and plays four instruments and has a lovely singing voice. 

Monday, December 6, 2010

Snowflakes 2010


If this video actually works, you will be able to see all of the girls who have been in the pas de deux class over the last year.  I've partnered with each of them at some point, but only five of this group were consistent regulars.

I got tears in my eyes watching my niece perform.  I thought she looked and danced beautifully.  All of the girls are very talented.  According to the program, I think each one is an honors student in school.  I don't know where they find the time to dance, rehearse, get homework done and have some semblance of a social life.  I think the social life suffers, except the time they spend with other dancers.

Nutcracker 2010

My nieces had six performances of the Nutcracker this past week.  This picture is from their last performance on Saturday.  This was the first time the one on the left was in Flower.  She also was in Arabian and  lead Trepak  The one on the right had just finished as lead Flower. She also did four performances as Sugar Plum Fairy.  She was also Columbine, Snow, and lead Mirliton.

I have some video but can't seem to get it uploaded.

Watching them dance brings tears to my eyes.